


Three Times the Triplets Found Leslie and Ben Having Sex, and One Time They Didn’t

by zarrati



Series: Triplet Fic [8]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:01:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5181257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a little privacy is hard to come by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times the Triplets Found Leslie and Ben Having Sex, and One Time They Didn’t

1.

At her own insistence, Ben’s hand covers Leslie’s mouth as he moves over her. Her hands grip the headboard and she moves her hips in perfectly practiced synchrony with his. The sheet is pulled up, hanging low on Ben’s hips–and thank God for that because just when Leslie reaches the precipice, their bedroom door slams open and Ben throws himself down next to her.

He turns over, pulling the sheet up as their seemingly unaware three-year-old waddles in.

“Hey, Wes,” Ben says with so much tenderness, you wouldn’t suspect he was just cock-blocked mere seconds ago by his own child. “What’s up, buddy?”

“Bad dream.”

Before Ben can answer, Stephen comes zooming into the room. “Firsty.”

Ben cringes, silently praying that they didn’t also wake up their sister, but thankfully Sonia never appears. 

“Mommy sleepin’?”

Leslie sinks further into the bed, doing her best to make sure that no naked body parts pop out at an inopportune time.

“Uh, yeah, Mommy’s sleeping.”

“Sleep with you?”

“No, Wes.” Ben scratches his head and wipes a hand across his face. “How about you two go back to your room together and I’ll be right there, okay? I’ll bring you some water, Stephen, then I’ll stay until you both fall asleep. Sound good?”

Two brunette heads nod and scurry back to their room while Ben and Leslie sigh in relief.

“One of these days I’m gonna be able to make love to my wife without being interrupted.”

Leslie gives a tired smile. “We have three toddlers. I’m surprised we made it this far tonight.”

He pulls on his bottoms and gives Leslie a soft kiss. “Think you can wait ‘til I get back?”

“I’ll try, but there is a 98% chance I’ll fall asleep before then.”

“Daddy!”

Ben hangs his head but smiles. “A parent’s work is never done.”

Leslie reaches out and brings Ben’s hand to her lips. “I’ll go next time. Love you.”

He curls a few strands of hair behind her ear. “Love you, too.” He stands up and walks out of the room. “We need to stop forgetting to lock that door.”

* * *

2.

“It’s mine! I called it.”

“Not fair, Stephen,” Sonia says as she runs after her brothers up the stairs. “You can’t call it. We agreed that it was my turn to have the last one.”

“No we didn’t,” Wesley cuts it. “This one was my turn. Next time is yours.”

“No way! You’re the reason we don’t have any left anyway.”

The bickering pre-teens halt outside their parents’ door. “We’ll just let Mom and Dad settled this okay?” Sonia says diplomatically, but Stephen is already pounding on the door. “Mom! Dad! Sonia and Wes are trying to steal from me!”

“He’s lying,” Wesley screamed. “It’s mine.”

“You’re both liars. It’s mine.”

The three continue to argue loudly until the abrupt opening of the door.  Leslie stands before them with mussed hair and flushed cheeks in her bathrobe, arms crossed over her chest.

“This better be good, you three.“

They all start talking at once and Leslie holds up a hand. “One of you. Sonia, what’s going on?”

“Ugh, why does  _she_  get to tell you her side first.”

“Wesley, I am not in the mood right now…” Wesley shrinks away and Leslie turns to her daughter. “Well?”

“Okay, so there was only one pudding cup left and we had agreed from before that we’d rotate who gets to eat the last one and it’s my turn cuz Stephen ate the last one last time and Wesley eats like twenty of these a day and he’s the reason we’re out again anyway, so-”

Leslie cuts her off with just a stern look. “Are you telling me that my three almost teenage children are screaming outside of my door over a pudding cup?”

Just then Ben walks out of the ensuite bathroom, his own hair sticking up in all directions and his shirt on inside out. “What’s going on?”

“They came pounding on our door screaming at the tops of their lungs over who gets to eat a pudding cup.”

Ben narrows his eyes. “Are you three serious?”

“It’s the  _last_  pudding cup,” Stephen says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Ben stomps over to the dresser and grabs the wallet. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mutters to himself before walking back over and handing his children a twenty-dollar bill. “Here, just go walk to the store and buy some more.”

“And buy any other snacks you want with the change,” Leslie adds quickly. “Just, stop this screaming and get out of the house for a little while.”

“Wait, for real? We can get whatever we want?” Stephen eyes the money hungrily. 

“Yes, just give us a few minutes of peace and quiet in this house, I beg of you.”

“Alright. We’re out of here.” Sonia says and the three barely say goodbye to their parents before running down the stairs and out of the door.

“I can’t believe they just gave us money,” Wesley says, already listing the snacks he wants to buy in his head. “We should fight more often.”

All of a sudden Sonia stops dead in her tracks and groans. “Oh, my God.”

Stephen looks over his shoulder at her. “What? What’s wrong.”

“I just figured out why they were more pissed at us than normal and so eager to kick us out.”

“Why?”

She rolls her eyes. “Just think about it. Locked door? Mom in her bathrobe all flushed and super pissed?” Her brothers stare at her blankly. “Dad looking the same with his boxers and inside out shirt?”

“I don’t get it.”

“God, you guys, they were having sex and we interrupted them and they paid us off to leave so they could…I don’t know, finish or whatever.”

Stephen shivers and sticks out his tongue like he tasted something nasty.  “Ew! Ugh, gross, why would you-how could you- EW!” 

Wesley just stands silently, shaking his head. “Huh, it makes sense.”

Stephen looks at his brother “How are you not grossed out by this?!”

“Like you don’t think our parents–our parents who are constantly doing gross things like kissing and giving each other weird nicknames, don’t have sex at least semi-regularly.”

“No, they don’t. Like Aunt April says, they had sex once, conceived us, then that was the end of it.”

“You really need to grow up and embrace the beauty of human sexuality.”

“And  _you_  need to stop imagining out parents having sex.”

“I’m not doing that!”

“Enough!” Sonia interrupts and stands between them. “Can you two _please_  stop arguing about our parents’ sex lives at the top of your lungs in public. Let’s just go to the store and get whatever we want with Dad’s money and give them some privacy.

The boys share one more contemptuous look but nod and step away, continuing their walk to the Food N Stuff

Stephen runs a shaky hand through his hair. “I’ll never be able to look at Mom’s bathrobe the same way again.”

* * *

3.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sonia asks as she sets her duffel bag down in the living room.

Stephen walks in behind her. “Of course it is. What better gift for Mom’s birthday than a surprise visit home. We lie about having to study for exams and can’t make it back until the weekend, but surprise her when she comes home from work today. She’ll be so happy to see her babies home from college, she’ll forgive us for being too poor to afford a real gift.”

“It’s a win-win for everybody,” Wesley grins. “I’m gonna run up to Mom and Dad’s room and steal one of those birthday cards she keeps in stock.”

“Wow, that’s cheap even for you,” Sonia comments. “I at  _least_  got her a card.”

“Me too.”

Wesley huffs. “Well, good for you two. Good thing I’m her favorite and she won’t care that I stole a card.”

Stephen laughs and tosses a throw pillow at his face. “Go get your damn card before Mom and Dad come home, okay?”

Wesley runs up the stairs while Sonia and Stephen start planning the rest of their surprise. Not 2 minutes later, They run upstairs at the sound of their brother’s scream.

They find Wesley with his back pressed against his parent’s door, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy.

“Wes, what happened?”

His eyes are distant, traumatized. “I knew it. I just knew it. Karma was going to catch up with me. Oh, God, you guys it was terrible.”

Sonia grabs her brother’s shoulders. “What are you–wait, no, you didn’t.”

He nods miserably. “I did. And it was terrible. They were just going at it and-”

“OH MY GOD!” Stephen screams, finally catching on. “You walked in on Mom and Dad having sex! Oh, man that’s hilarious. First Dad walks in on you and now this. Payback’s a bitch.”

“Stephen, have you no tact whatsoever?”

“Not in situations like this, I don’t. You walked in a  _birthday_  sex, nonetheless. Hot damn, man. It sucks to be you right now.”

“Just stop, okay?”

“What happened to ‘embracing the beauty of human sexuality’?”

“That was before I walking in on my parents going to town on each other.”

Just then, the door behind Wesley opens and their father rushes out, still buttoning his pants.

“What the hell are you three doing home?!”

“Surprise?” Sonia rasps with a small shrug.

Leslie pushes her way past Ben, tightening the belt of her robe and pulling her children into a hug. Wesley can barely bring himself to touch her after what he just walked in on.

“My babies came to visit me on my birthday. This is a wonderful surprise.”

“Looks like you were the one giving Wesley the surprise,” Stephen laughs under his breath, but stops when he sees the death glare from his father.

“Ha, yes, well we are all learning the importance of knocking and locking doors, aren’t we?”

“I’ll never get the image of Dad’s ass out of my mind for as long as I live.”

“Then we’re even,” Ben shoots back, crossing his arms.

Ever the peacekeeper, Sonia does her best to divert the conversation. “Well, I can see that this is not the best time so we can always come back-”

“No, of course not,” Leslie protests. “We’ll, uhm, we’ll go get changed and meet you downstairs.”

Stephen kisses his mother’s cheek. “We brought stuff for waffle sundaes.”

“Suck up,” Wesley mumbles, but Stephen just shoots him a toothy grin.

“You know me so well. We’ll be downstairs in a second.”

“Hey, guys,” Wesley says to his siblings as they walk back downstairs. “Remind to just never ever bother coming home again for as long as I live.”

* * *

4.

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love extra-curricular activities?” Ben asks as he kisses the hollow of Leslie’s throat. “Kids are gone on a club trip for the entire weekend, and we get the house to ourselves.”

“Now we know the  _real_  reason you fought so hard to make sure after school programs kept their funding.”

His lips travel south and she gasps. “You found me and my selfish agenda out. More after school programs means more time alone to fuck my wife.”

Leslie arches her back and runs her nails over his skin. “I am very okay with that.”

“Good, because I’m about to make you scream like you haven’t been able to scream in months.”

He was one congressman that kept his word. 


End file.
